So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize