I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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