I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
