we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
