my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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