Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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