We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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