I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
and she was petting her beer can
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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