weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
