I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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