True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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