I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
