Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
