Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
