He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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