I have demons in me.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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