It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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