Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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