Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We had to coat check the pizza.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
