Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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