what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
