It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
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