i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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