she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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