If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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