Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
