Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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