Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
wow bdsm is so cute
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
