the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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