And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
