Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
