Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
