do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
