Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
