Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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