U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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