So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
