Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
