I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
