I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
