4 words: hood of his car
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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