When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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