There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
