Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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