Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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