I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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