THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
