the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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