too bad you live with your parents still
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
