so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
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