So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
