Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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